Looking at the pile of boxes in our spare bedroom, you would think our girls get everything they want and more off their holiday wish list. The older they get, the harder it is to find out what they really want. I go for equality in the number of packages and hope for the best.
No matter the holiday observed at your house or the age of the kids, gift-giving gets challenging. Even the best gift-givers can get stumped or stressed. It’s all part of the fun, right?
My husband is an Amazon shopper extraordinaire so there are a lot of family members I can leave him to handle. We do the brainstorming for the girls together and then make an attempt to divide into a few different categories to help fulfill holiday wishes.
I am going to break down our process into three different categories that you might give a try if you find yourself struggling with gift ideas.
Items on their list
Our girls really aren’t all that interested in making a list for Santa. We have to work to get straight answers on things they really want to see under the tree on Christmas.
Give them a toy catalog or Sunday paper ad with a marker and let them go crazy. Even if they circle things that you would never in a million years buy them, you at least get an idea of the types of things that draw their attention.
Walk the aisles. I know from experience it helps to take them through the toy area of a few stores well before the Black Friday rush. Pay attention to the types of things they spend time looking at, touching or begging for while window shopping.
Once we have a pretty good idea, we work on finding a few of the things on their list that they have directly asked for or we know are definite wants.
Items not on their list, aka cool stuff we find
It’s not realistic to get them every single item on their wish list every year. For some, it’s because their list isn’t very detailed. For others, it’s because their list is outside of Santa’s budget.
Or some of the items may be extremely hard to find. Remember Tickle Me Elmo? Or a family pet that you just aren’t ready to commit to?
Supplementing the list with things you know they will like is fun.
I don’t particularly love shopping but giving gifts they haven’t seen before or a few little things to surprise them makes me happy. Definitely stick to a few well-known categories that are sure to please. We have one that is into all things unicorns and another that loves Harry Potter so those are easy wins.
Needs but not necessarily wants
Our family has a long-standing joke that if you don’t tell Santa what you want for Christmas, you only get socks and underwear. Very practical but not very fun, especially for younger kids. The holidays aren’t always a time for needs but we might sprinkle in a few things that they are lacking.
I also put clothes and toiletries into this category. We are still way into toys and things so opening a box of even the cutest outfit isn’t that exciting.
As we approach the pre-teen years I am tossing in a few necessities this year like sports bras, facewash and some personal care items.
She may not be that excited about it but there is something to be said for getting it as a gift rather than just any old trip to Target.
Also, sometimes they just need new socks and underwear so why not wrap it up?
Family of Givers
Our girls are beyond blessed to have so many family members that love them. We have a good-sized extended family that we spend time with over the holidays. I start getting bombarded with the asks for wants, likes and sizes in October.
My aunt is an extremely talented gift giver and likes to find a central theme for the girls. My dad doesn’t really know what they like and will give all books if I don’t help out. My grandparents prefer to give me cash to help them find things they enjoy throughout the year.
Above all else, I send different ideas and suggestions to different family members to avoid repeats. This is also a great way to get a family member in providing experiences over things. Some ideas I share with family from out-of-town:
- Zoo membership
- Museum membership
- Cover their gymnastics/dance/music/sport lessons for a period of time
- Subscription boxes like Little Passports or KiwiCo.
Disappointment and Gratitude
Part of the preparation for holiday gifts that makes me nervous is how to successfully manage the kids’ expectations. They understand that our family celebrates two holidays and through divorce and people living in different states, they get a lot of celebrations.
Not all of them are the most fun and not every gift they open is going to be something they love. In fact, there is always sure to be one thing they just don’t even know what the heck it is without an explanation.
How do I teach them to be grateful for what they do receive? To keep their sassy comments to a minimum and learn how to say thank you even if they aren’t sure what for.
I remember my mother working with me on this as a child too. It’s hard to understand and express emotions like disappointment and gratitude. I also do not have a very good poker face so there is definitely a chance they inherited some quality expressions from me.
Don’t Stop Believing
I want them to feel the magic of the season and to believe their wishes will come true. I also temper that with conversations about being thankful for other gifts like the gift of time with family we don’t see often and the love of so many people in their life. And heath above all else given the state of the world right now.
The reason for the season is not to ensure you only get the one American Girl doll outfit on your list. It’s a work in progress.
Gift giving with two girls has become about equality. They have no concept of money or value so we focus on spreading out their wishes and rounding out their number of gifts received to keep it manageable. With more than one holiday celebration, we are very careful to ensure they understand exactly who the gift is from before tearing it apart.
Also, involving them in the giving process to others gives them a better appreciation for the festivities.
I often think life as a parent of girls would be easier if we just let them in on the big secrets of the holidays. But then I remember, there are very few magical things left for them. Soon they will be teenagers and barely have time for us.
I want them to remember their family celebrations and all the traditions we blend together to make their holidays memorable for life.
Manage their expectations but just don’t stop believing.
How do you tackle the holiday gift giving in your family? Share your tips and hacks to reduce stress around the buying and giving processes.
