I am not nor will I ever be a ‘morning person’. I do not enjoy waking up early to do anything. I am not productive in the morning and would choose ten more minutes of sleep over just about anything.
Alas, parenting and real life require I wake and be functional. Sometimes before sunrise. The time I wake and the process of getting two kids and myself ready and out the door from Monday through Friday is no simple feat.
It has taken many forms over the years since becoming parents.
- Child to daycare, two parents to work
- One parent to work, one child to daycare, one parent to work
- Two children to daycare, two parents to work
- One child on the bus to school, one child to daycare, two parents to work
- Two children on the bus to school, two parents to work
In all these trials and tribulations of getting to work on time and ready for the day, I do have to admit one thing. We got it down to a science. We rock the morning routine.
How the morning goes, smooth or not so much, sets the tone for the entire day. Have you ever arrived at work, sat down at your desk, and felt like you already experienced an entire day’s worth of emotions before 9 am? That’s motherhood.
For a while, it was my least favorite things about motherhood. Then we got smarter.
After much trial and error, we learned what works for us. We stick to the same routine, minimize the amount of time the kids have to get distracted and then I get myself ready once they are on the bus.
We have a strict zero tolerance for lollygagging in the morning on school days. ZERO. And the girls know it.
- There is no television or electronics involved [other than asking Alexa about the weather]
- Every person in the family plays a role
- Every day, for the most part, is exactly the same
- Its all done in thirty minutes or less
How did we get to this level of morning success?
It doesn’t matter if it’s the kids to school, me to work, kids to an appointment or dad to the airport, it’s all the same on a weekday.
There are three very specific things I can point to that have allowed us to get to a place of zen with the morning schedule.
Maybe zen isn’t the right word because there are still days of typical kid drama. An outfit change, a lost sock, forgotten homework, hair woes and all that jazz. Automatic might be a better word.
Sunday planning
Every Sunday, typically at breakfast, we discuss the plan of attack for the week. We go over every day in detail including meals, activities and obligations for each family member, out of the ordinary events or schedule changes.
We review newsletters sent from school to know what week ahead looks like and check backpacks for rogue assignments or notes.
We utilize both an electronic shared google family calendar and a dry erase calendar that lives on our refrigerator. We put everything we can into the calendars so we know who has what and when between work, family, school and fun stuff.
We use the basic planning pads from Knock Knock for this. It sets the expectation for the week for all of us. The shopping list also dictates the kids’ lunches and snacks for the week.
The planning day doesn’t have to be Sunday and it doesn’t have to take a long time. We choose Sundays at breakfast because that is the day of the week we are most likely to be in the same place at the same time. It’s also our most open day to tackle the shopping.
It takes on average twenty minutes to accomplish the schedule review, meal planning, and grocery list.
The result is a stocked fridge and pantry to speed up the breakfast and lunch prep on school mornings.
Know Yourself
The second tip to ensure morning success is all about you. How will you take care of you?
Knowing how you need or prefer to get yourself ready determines your morning routine. Think about what your morning routine would look like if you weren’t rushing to get kids off to school or daycare or an appointment. Ask yourself a few questions:
- How long does it take you to get yourself ready in the morning
- Does it look the same every day or does it vary
- Do you want to be completely ready before you wake kids
- Can you get ready after they are gone
- Do you have other self-care rituals in the morning like journaling, working, meditation, maybe just a cup of coffee in silence
Consider how any and all of these things will impact your morning schedule. Doing too much in the morning is when things can get stressful.
By separating your routine from the kids routine from your partners routine, it will be easier to see how they can overlap or maybe shouldn’t overlap at all.
The goal is to wake up ready to tackle the morning, not run at it like your hair is on fire.
Consider also, the things about a morning routine that can really be the most stressful for you.
If you have a child that is very particular about her clothes and has trouble making decisions, you might choose to tackle that battle before bed. If you have a nursing baby, you might do your best to develop feeding time habits that fall in the window of time just before you need to leave the house.
You know what they say, failing to plan is a plan to fail.
Roles & Responsibilities
The final tip to set your morning routine up for success is to create dedicated roles and responsibilities. If there are multiple responsible parties in the house, how can you share responsibilities to help ensure everything gets done?
If there are two adults in the house and both are home in the morning to participate, a plan of action is critical for success.
Make kids be responsible for themselves when its possible.
Even toddlers can have a role in accountability. Maybe its something small like putting their dirty clothes in the basket or finding their own shoes and bringing them to you. Those tasks may not be all that helpful but it gives them something to do while you can focus on the real needs.
As the kids get older the responsibility can increase to more functional tasks like packing their own lunch or ensuring the backpack has everything necessary for the day.
If you are the only adult in the house, you do not need to bear the weight of the morning routine. Think critically about how each person, including kids, can contribute.
Even if that way to contribute is to eat breakfast at the table while you feed the baby. Or its packing bags the night before so there is no room for arguments in the morning.
Set yourself up for success
The only thing predictable about kids is that they are unpredictable. Keeping a very quick morning routine is what has worked best for us.
The girls can’t get into arguments over toys or electronics if they know they aren’t part of the morning plan. They can’t watch TV or be on their iPads so they never even ask. They go from wake up to out the door in thirty minutes.
We got there through trial and error and planning. If you want to have time to clean the kitchen or do a load of laundry in the morning, make time for it. If you want to occupy your toddler with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse while you shower, plan around that show.
To help you evaluate your morning routine, I created a quick prep guide for you based on my model of efficiency. Click here to download the Morning Routine Prep Guide.
Page one asks you to do some basic math to determine which elements are part of your routine and how long they take to complete. Then, once you get an idea of the time needed to complete your morning routine, page two is designed to help you make your routine as efficient as possible.
Give it a try and let me know if it helped you. What are your AM pain points and what steps can you take to make it better for yourself?
Hear more about the evolution of my morning routine in this episode of the Motherhood Merged Podcast. I share a look into life as a working mom with two children, from the baby stage through now.
