Join the Quitters Club in 2022
At the start of a new there year, there is a lot of pressure to create a resolution. Or to select a word of the year. I’m not sure where either practice originated from. But the purpose is to set some goals and share them as an accountability measure.
I’m all for goal setting but I’ve actually never put much stock into either concept. I’ve learned that I operate best when I break things down into smaller pieces. Creating a plan for the year seems a little daunting in my mind. When that happens, I’m a lot less likely to make an effort.
Failure is not my favorite feeling.
Instead, I lean into this idea of simplifying things in my life for success. A big part of that over the last few years has been attempting to remove things from the to-do list. At a time of the new year when others add, I subtract.
Take the time at the start of the year to figure out what I can quit. What are the habits, tasks, and energy-sucking things that I just don’t need?
Find What Works
I am obsessed with personal and professional development tools. One of the assessments I have been learning more about over the last year is called human design.
The basic formula for this assessment isn’t subjective at all. It uses your birth date, birth time, and birth location to create a chart of your unique genetic design. Now before you write this one off for being a little too woo , I thought that at first too. But I’ve learned so much.
Once you enter your information into the tool you will be presented with a chart of the human body and then a classification into one of the five types of people. The five types are defined by three categories: how you make decisions, how your functions affect others, and where your life is moving.
Within this framework, I am what human design refers to as a generator. Generators are the dominant Type on the planet with nearly 70% of the population. They are the driving life force of the planet. Their strategy is to respond, and thorough response to find satisfaction and avoid frustration. They have an open and enveloping aura and need to learn about themselves.
So why am I sharing this with you?
Because one of the unique things about being a generator is my happiness is tied to intrinsic motivation. A need to focus on the things that bring the most joy and feel the absolute most fulfilling.
I need to fill my day or week or month with more of the things that I am energized to tackle and get rid of the things that don’t. Similar to the Marie Kondo method for your home- keep it only if it sparks joy. Quit the rest.
It explains why I like to remove things at the start of the year.
Every January like clockwork, I become obsessed with cleaning out the kids’ drawers and organizing every closet in our house. Before I can even think about making a whole new plan, I need to get rid of things taking up space. In my physical space, on my calendar, and in my brain.
Now let me be clear, I like to go through this exercise. It’s important to me to identify things to quit but like many things, it’s often easier said than done.
I’m good at identifying but not always great on the follow-through. Sometimes the ideas I have of habits to quit are good in theory. Then I realize they are poor in practical application at that moment.
What habits, tasks, and mindsets landed on my “Quitters List” for 2022?
1. Missing Friends
The first thing I want to quit is missing out on time with adult friends. Maybe it’s pandemic related, maybe it’s getting older. I’m feeling disconnected from friends. You might be thinking well hey, you have busy kids and a crazy busy job so do you even have time for anything else?
I’ve had that mindset for a while and that’s exactly what I want to quit.
There will always be an excuse not to do something.
Communication is a two-way street. I can do something small every week to reconnect with the people in my life. Adult people.
My husband and I do monthly dinner dates with our neighbor friends and it’s life-giving to have that adult interaction while we bounce around to different restaurants around town.
I also want to put energy into small things like sending a text every week to someone I haven’t connected with in a while. Might be one of my friends from high school or one of my accountability partners from the business mastermind I participate in.
And I desperately need to get some time on the calendar for a girl’s weekend. I’ve got a core group of friends I live really far away from and we’ve been saying for years that we need to get away together. Our busy lives keep getting in the way.
If it’s up to me to get the plans together then this is going to be the year. The year I’m not too busy for a lunch date or a happy hour or even just a phone call to connect with an important person in my life.
2. My Inbox
The next habit I wrote down to quit is letting my inbox control my day. This is not the first time I’ve tried this one and it’s a habit that has been really hard to break.
I can’t remember who said this but when I heard it a year or two ago I wrote it down on my whiteboard that I have at my desk. One line that says Y”our inbox is not your to do list.”
Time to quit making excuses for why I allow myself to be a slave to my email. It’s gotten to the point in recent years where just the sound of the email notification on my phone or seeing any number next to the email icon on my phone at the end of the day raises my blood pressure. The 24/7 nature of technology plays a huge factor in this for sure. But also, why am I like this?
A couple of years ago I was at my doctor’s office for my annual checkup. I don’t love doctors’ offices and hospitals to begin with so I was already annoyed about having to take time out of my workday to be there. The nurse took me back to the little room and we made small talk. I know I was in the middle of a busy sports season so she was asking me about that while getting ready to take my vitals.
Apparently, I didn’t turn off my phone before I went back because just as she started the blood pressure cuff, my phone chimed with an email notification. Then another, then my apple watch went off with a text notification and then more emails. The nurse stopped everything because my blood pressure jumped so high in that minute stretch that I think she just felt bad for me.
It was a mini wake-up call that I was allowing my inbox to dictate the flow of my day. Rather than work through my day and the project-related tasks, I panicked at the sight or sound of an email. It caused me to immediately jump to whatever someone else needed at that moment.
I started working on small things like not checking emails for a time at night or turning off notifications to my phone. And blocking time on my calendar just for responding to emails.
It’s worked somewhat but I broke any boundaries a long time ago around my emails and it’s really hard to make them again. The expectation was that if someone needed something, I was the person who knew what they needed and would get it to them immediately.
While my work may be important to me and the many people I work with, I also realize that nothing we do is life and death. Even if it’s an emergency by our standards, I’ve trained my team and the people around me that requires a call and not an email.
There are a lot of successful people in this world who don’t have their email apps open all day long.
I plan to be more like them in 2022 and quit letting my email prevent me from being as productive as possible. Have set times for email responses and to give permission to let something sit for a reasonable amount of time before responding. And to make every effort to stick with it even when it’s hard.
3. The Rush
The third thing written down is also something I’ve said and tried before. I want to quit rushing.
Rushing gives this feeling that time is running out, anxiousness and stress. I’ve made progress but not enough. In part because I’ve learned that rushing around is a side effect of a broken system.
Rushing is the end result of poor time management. Or poor task management.
This one applies to all aspects of my life because I can feel rushed in different ways. Rushed to make a decision in my business, rushed to complete a project at work, and rushed just to get from point A to point B with everything everyone needs. It’s both physical and mental.
So how do I quit this habit of rushing in my daily life? I’m not exactly sure of my plan yet. If I’m following my human design, my day should be full of things I want to do. I should naturally allow time for the important things which include my girls, their activities, and the big projects I’m working on.
I’ve learned from experience I have to be more intentional. A plan or system is needed so that when something comes up to throw my day or week or month off track, my default setting isn’t to do everything humanly possible to squeeze it all in.
Being a generator means being able to let go of the things that don’t fit with more ease. And that’s the overall goal for 2022. Do more of what comes easy.
At the end of the day, the important thing is that you take time to evaluate. Like any business or project, you are a work in progress. There is never a wrong time to evaluate your progress. See where you are compared to where you want to be.
It can be done in January or July and you can evaluate based on a year or a day.
The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress.
James Clear, Atomic Habits
I don’t have just one big resolution or one word. Maybe I do buried inside of my list of things to quit but doing it this way feels manageable. It feels like the right order of operations and the right size habits to tackle inside of my system.
How do you start the year or what does your self-evaluation practice look like? What habits or things in your life do you want to leave behind in 2022?
