I don’t just have a job, I have a career. A career that I am very proud of and work hard to grow within. A career that has provided me with amazing opportunities. Where I am recognized as a leader and influencer. A way in which I contribute to my family in more ways than just financially.
I wouldn’t do the work I do if I didn’t love it. And not that you have to love everything about your work all the time. Let’s be honest, anyone who loves ALL of it is most likely lying.
I have made a conscious decision to work full time. I talk about this decision often because I am passionate about the contributions I make as a professional and as a mother. My career is important to me.
But there are times when I wish it wasn’t. When I wish I wasn’t tied to a set schedule or responsibilities outside of my home and family. When I wish I could relax and just be.
Summer is one of those times when I find myself questioning my career choices. Not because of my work responsibilities or schedule.
Its because I am jealous. Jealous of the moms and kids who can have fun together while its light outside. Moms who have the flexibility to get in the car and go with their family. Moms who can enjoy summer fun on their own schedule.
Now if you have spent the last six weeks at home with your children who are out of school you might be about ready to tune me out. I am not naive enough to think its all sunshine and rainbows.
I have no doubt there are challenges for every mom over the summer months. Whether you work outside the home, inside the home, seasonally, part-time or not at all. Have one kid, two kids, or more.
My challenges as a full time working parent aren’t special or unique. But they do affect my children in special and unique ways.
This has been the first time that my children have been vocal about my career. They have been honest about their desires to spend more time with me. For me to be at the office less so they are not enrolled in a summer camp all day, every day.
I can point to five incidents this summer that made me want to leave my job.
Made me question, what if? Made me think if I was doing the right thing for them.
Mom texts. Their friend’s moms become my friends and we text regularly. Several times during the week I received messages asking if one of the girls is available to do something with a friend. Go to the pool, come over for a playdate, meet at the park.
Parents know I am at work but its easy to forget that the girls are committed to a camp during that time. A camp we have paid for with set drop off and pick up times. While they would love to play, I can’t just go get them and come home.
Every time this happened I was able to politely let our friends know that my daughters were at camp. I never let the girls know about the declined invitations. And I felt bad every time.
Family Travel. When family is far away, our time to spend with them is limited. It makes sense to schedule trips when the kids are not in school.
The girls spent a week with each set of grandparents but it will never be enough. If we had a more flexible schedule I would be able to take the time to stay longer or visit more frequently during the summer.
FaceTime is great but its a poor substitute for real time spent with grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and more. Not only do I want the girls to spend more time with their family but I want to see my own family too.
Signing up for activities. This is not a new frustration for working parents. The more I try to balance the kids potential activity schedule with my work schedule, the more frustrated I get. We just can’t do it all. But we want to.
I hear from plenty of moms who play the role of chauffeur from one activity to the next. At least they have options and some flexibility in the schedule. When there is only one dance class after 5:00 pm, that is where we will be.
It is not always fair that my work schedule determines their activity schedule. Until they can drive themselves, we trouble shoot the best way we can with carpools, babysitters and events after work.
Complain Camp. Out of bed and out the door in a half hour. That is usually the situation for our kids. Not this summer. They could not have been less excited about their summer camp commitments. It crushed us as parents.
We found the solution for summer care that we thought was best. And for our needs and expectations, it has been just fine. If you ask the girls they will say it has been nothing but boring.
Now I take their criticisms with a grain of salt. They like to exaggerate or have unrealistic expectations at times. But this is the first time I found myself truly upset that they were so unhappy with their plans for the day. For the most part, they just couldn’t shake it and get excited.
A lot of deep discussions, questions and frustrated sighs
Kids asked. Their overall disappointment with their daily summer activities led to this one. Possibly the hardest thing I have heard as a mother from my children. This was more than a little whining about me having to go to work on a Saturday. This was look me in the eye and tell me to quit my job.
At first, I brushed it off as them just being funny. The second time they tag teamed it and were very serious. They asked me if I would quit my job so I could be with them over the summer. So we could do fun things together and not have to be at a camp all day. Didn’t I want a break during the summer?
Or, if I still wanted to work I was told I should become a teacher. Obviously, they only work when the kids are in their classroom, right?
It is easy to make light of the things that come from the mouths of babes. Believe me, I dismiss plenty of it.
I do not expect them to understand the concept of a career and money. Or to translate that they live a certain lifestyle because of the money their parents’ careers provide. They will learn the value of money eventually. When they have to survive on their own funds.
It doesn’t make the situation any less hurtful. It makes me sad to see my girls unhappy with the choices we make. Even if it isn’t something that I can or should fix.
I am not unhappy in the career I have chosen. It comes with certain pros and cons and I work very consciously to keep all the balls in the air. Do I feel stretched thin at times? Absolutely. Mom-guilt at times? Yep. Do I want to keep doing it? Absolutely.
Asking me to quit my job stings. It hurts my feelings. It makes me jealous of others who have chosen a different lifestyle. I would be lying if I said I have never thought about leaving my career. But I think that is part of being a parent. Normal even, for many mothers.
Doing things because they are what is best, not always because they are fun. 
If my career journey has taught me one thing it is that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I can wish I had the freedom and flexibility to party with the kids all summer long. No schedule and no accountability to anyone or anything else.
They might wish that too. Or so they think. Something tells me we likely have different expectations of a Mom Summer Camp.
Today is their last day of summer camp and school starts next week. We have a few months until the summer care decision comes around again. When the cycle of decision making stresses the already stressed.
Maybe things will change but maybe they will stay the same.
I am not giving up on this lifestyle I have created. I will continue to hear my daughter’s concerns and use them to evaluate the big decisions. But if there is joy to be found in having a career and happy children then I want to have it all. Even in the summer months.
Have you felt the pressure from your children to change your lifestyle? How do you explain your career choices in a way they understand?
